novellhall Chapter 57: It's About to Be Done
Chapter 57: It's About to Be Done
The theater went dark.
Four large red characters appeared on the screen.
One Shot
There was no opening music or credits.
The scene cuts directly to an old residential building, where Wang Baoqiang is squatting next to the "corpse," his expression so serious it's as if he's acting in some epic drama.
The camera shook slightly.
It wasn't the kind of carefully designed shaking; it was just that the person holding the console clearly wasn't standing steadily.
You can even see half a forehead flash by at the edge of the image.
Someone in the audience murmured, "Hmm?"
Then look down.
Five minutes. Ten minutes.
Baoqiang poked the "corpse's" face, and flour exploded. He opened his mouth to utter half a curse, but then swallowed it back and changed it into a line of dialogue.
Someone couldn't help but laugh.
But that kind of laughter isn't from being amused; it's the instinctive kind that comes from seeing someone make a fool of themselves.
Fifteen minutes.
Fan Binbin appeared. She hesitated.
She paused for a full three seconds while delivering her lines, then looked down at the script. The camera didn't even cut to her; it just captured her looking at the script.
"What is this thing?" someone in the back row muttered.
The two kings, Hua and Yi, sat in the center of the front row.
Wang Zhonglei tilted his head slightly and whispered to Wang Zhongjun, "Is...it really a disaster?"
Wang Zhongjun didn't respond. He still had a polite smile on his face, but his lips were a little stiff.
Feng Kuzi sat in the row behind them, leaned close to Chen Guofu's ear, and spoke in a voice that was neither too loud nor too soft:
"This must have been filmed by elementary school students! The Beijing Film Academy is about to make a huge fool of itself!"
Chen Guofu remained silent.
He was hesitant.
Because Tian Erzhuang was sitting in the first three rows, the head of the directing department at Beijing Film Academy didn't move an inch, and his expression was unreadable.
More than twenty minutes have passed.
The number of bad movies on the big screen continues.
Mu Tingting, dressed as a female ghost, tripped over her own skirt; Li Hua, playing a "corpse," lay on the ground and twitched several times; Huang Xiaoming bumped into the door frame when he entered.
The laughter came intermittently.
But that's an awkward laugh. It's the kind of laugh you get when you see someone make a fool of themselves and don't know how to react.
The atmosphere in the audience became very subtle.
Some people started looking down at their phones, some whispered to each other, and some even stood up and walked towards the restroom.
Over in the reporters' area, Liu Yang from Sina Entertainment relaxed his brow.
He wrote the exclusive report that said the situation was "not optimistic," and then he wrote an apology and a scathing critique.
Now it seems...
If this movie is truly terrible from beginning to end, then he can choose to write a scathing critique.
Less than thirty minutes.
On the screen, Fan Binbin finally uttered his last line, and the image froze.
Then it went black.
It's not over yet.
A few lines of text appeared on the black screen.
The above footage was filmed by the following individuals:
Director: Wei Yi (playing the director)
Producer: Tian Erzhuang (playing the producer)
Photographer: Mu Deyuan (playing the photographer)
Someone paused for a moment.
Then the screen went black and disappeared.
The screen lights up.
It's a film set.
Tian Erzhuang sat in front of the monitor, holding a rolled-up script in his hand, his face as black as the bottom of a pot.
He pointed at the camera and yelled, "You're telling me it's a one-shot take? Do you even know what a one-shot take means?"
Wei Yi entered the country wearing a wrinkled down jacket and with hair so messy it looked like he hadn't washed it in three days: "Teacher, I've calculated it, we can cut the cost in half."
"Save your head, my foot!"
The whole place burst into laughter.
It wasn't that awkward laugh from before.
It was genuine, uncontrollable laughter bursting from his throat.
Because everyone suddenly understood.
The first thirty minutes weren't a disaster.
It was deliberately smashed.
It's a play within a play.
Feng Kuzi's expression changed.
He sat bolt upright and slapped Chen Guofu's thigh: "Damn! This kid did it on purpose! It was all traps in front!"
Chen Guofu grimaced as he was filmed, but his eyes never left the screen.
What followed was the quietest sixty minutes in the entire screening room.
That was also the 90 minutes with the most laughter.
On the screen, a group of people are causing chaos on set.
The script supervisor spilled coffee, soaking a third of the script.
The camera assistant went to the wrong spot, and the camera veered off course at a crucial moment.
While playing a female detective's assistant, Fan Binbin was sending a breakup text message to her real boyfriend off-camera.
When filming the horror scene, Wang Baoqiang was so frightened by Mu Tingting's ghost makeup that he forgot his lines, turned around and cursed "Damn it," and then forced the swear word into his lines.
Huang Xiaoming had no idea whether the character he played actually existed, from beginning to end.
After each performance, he would chase after Wei Yi and ask him a question:
"Director, is my character even alive yet?"
Wei Yi always said, "It depends on how you feel."
Huang Xiaoming finally squatted in the corner with the script in his arms, muttering, "I feel, I feel."
There's also Tian Erzhuang.
Lao Tian plays a producer, and he plays himself throughout the entire performance. The only difference is that real producers don't swear off-screen, but they swear all the time on screen.
The harshest scolding occurred when Wei Yi, playing the "director," told him that he had no money.
Old Tian looked him in the eyes, remained silent for three seconds, then sighed and said, "There's still 300,000 in the card, take it first."
The audience laughed again.
But as they laughed, many people stopped laughing.
Because that sigh felt so real.
It wasn't acted.
Han Sanping, sitting next to him, glanced at him and said, "You acted quite well."
Tian Erzhuang ignored him.
When Han Sanping, who plays the TV station director, appears in the middle of the show, the Wang brothers next to him can't help but cast their gazes at him.
Wei Yi is really daring; he actually got Lao Han to play the role.
end.
Filming on screen reached its final day.
The scene was finished filming. Everyone was celebrating; some cried, some laughed, and some hugged each other.
The camera slowly pans away.
In the corner, Mu Tingting sat on the prop box.
She was still wearing that ghost costume and hadn't had time to change, her face still covered in blood-red makeup.
She looked at someone off-camera and spoke.
"You can do it. I believe in you!"
She smiled, but beneath her ghostly makeup, her eyes were red.
The camera lingered on her face, then slowly zoomed out to black.
The laughter had long since stopped.
The theater was as quiet as if it were empty.
The lights in the screening room came on.
No one moved.
three seconds.
It takes about three seconds, or maybe a little longer.
Someone in the front row stood up.
It's Chow Yun-fat.
This VIP, who wasn't part of the welcoming ceremony today, rose from the front row of the audience, turned around, and faced the direction where Wei Yi was sitting. He began to applaud.
Immediately afterwards, Gong Li stood up.
Then came Huang Xiaoming. Then Wang Baoqiang. Then Li Hua. Then Mu Tingting, standing in the corner with tears in her eyes.
The applause came like a tidal wave.
Han Sanping breathed a sigh of relief and said to Tian Erzhuang, "Very good response."
Tian Erzhuang took a deep breath and remained silent.
Wang Zhongjun and his brother exchanged a glance.
"How about we let Huo Shiyan and the others go together?" Wang Zhonglei said in a low voice.
Wang Zhongjun nodded, his gaze lingering on Wei Yi for a moment.
"Let's raise the original conditions a little higher."
Fan Binbin sat next to Wei Yi.
She suddenly turned her head, her lips close to Wei Yi's ear, her breath still warm: "Darling, you're about to succeed."
The sound wasn't loud, but it was just loud enough for Mu Tingting on the other end to hear.
Mu Tingting's eyes were still red, but her gaze turned to Fan Binbin.
Fan Binbin happened to look up at her as well. Their eyes met briefly in mid-air.
Fan Binbin didn't dodge. She leaned back into Wei Yi's ear and said something, but her voice was too soft to hear.
Mu Tingting turned her face away.
Wei Yi sat there, watching the last line of subtitles roll on the screen.
He didn't say anything.
A system panel popped up in the corner, and a line of gold text slowly appeared on the retina.
[First Stage Judgment of the Heavenly Tribulation: Premiere Reputation - Lower Grade A]
[Golden Core Formation Progress: 25%]
[Effect: Due to the advancement in Golden Core Realm cultivation, multiple cultivation techniques are automatically advancing...]